| Bad movie, brilliant star The only watchable thing about Crank 2 is Jason Statham's charming performance
D+
| CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE
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Right now, you couldn't meet a bigger admirer of the proficient, brawny action star Jason Statham than myself, but unfortunately, Crank 2 fails to live up to its rapturously unpredictable theatrical trailer. It's cataclysmically dumb, equal parts offensive and absurd.
It's as if the filmmakers, writer/directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, attempted to make a '70s-style exploitation opus but are only aware of the genre through the work of Quentin Tarantino, making this a once-removed attempt that drips with calculated hipness. Video games are obviously an influence, and the movie's Grand Theft Auto-like depiction of Los Angeles is lurid and sure to turn off many viewers.
The bizarre plot concerns the return of Chev Chelios (Statham), who survives a fall from a helicopter only to be abducted by the Chinese Mafia. In short order, they remove his heart and hook him up to an artificial one that's set to last only a few days - so long as he avoids any strenuous activity, that is.
Chelios uses his fists to escape and his Oz-like quest for his still-beating heart takes him all over Los Angeles and Long Beach, Calif. Needing frequent recharges, Chelios hooks himself up to various power sources to humorous effect, including police Tazers and car batteries - gritting his teeth, he clamps his nipples as the positive and negative receptors.
Returning from the first movie is Amy Smart, now a stripper, and Efren Ramirez, a victim of the comically bankrupt concept of full-body Tourette's Syndrome. Dwight Yoakam shows up as a disbarred heart surgeon who is Chelios' only hope for survival.
Appearing for the first time is David Carradine, in Big Trouble in Little China-esque elderly Asian make-up, and Corey Haim, as a mulleted strip-club patron with ties to Smart.
Statham's a new breed of action performer. Eschewing the one-liners that made Schwarzenegger famous, and without being a total embarrassment like Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal, Statham seems increasingly privy to how absurd the scenarios and setups have become. There's a wink-wink, nudge-nudge to how he reacts to the villain-du-jour's master plans, and he has fun with the process leading up to the stunts, his Brit charisma shining through.
Ultimately, Crank: HIgh Voltage is too schizophrenic in its aims, with comic gags followed by untenable fight sequences. Adding insult to injury, it's deeply offensive to women, with the camera pawing over the contours of female flesh worse than a bling-filled music video.
Still, as unwatchable as it may be, Statham provides welcome relief from the constant one-upmanship of the plot.
— Aaron Graham |
Uptown
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