| Gross, offensive and not funny Pervy teen comedy Miss March should have went straight to video - enough said
F
| MISS MARCH
Now playing
Let's hope that this first feature from two of the members of American sketch comedy troupe The Whitest Kids U Know will also be their last.
Bare breasts (though far from plentiful, if that's what you're after) and bathroom jokes are the order of the day, as plain-faced, sensitive type Eugene Bell (Zach Cregger) fumbles his chance at losing his virginity on prom night to his equally-as-chaste, hottie girlfriend Cindi (Raquel Alessi) when he downs a couple of whisky shots courtesy of his mugging, sex-demented best friend, Tucker Cleigh (Trevor Moore), and accidentally slips (quite literally) into a coma instead.
Picking up the story four years later, Eugene awakes to find that his family has ditched him and his girlfriend is posing in the current issue of Playboy. No sooner does he re-wake his atrophied muscles does Tucker whisk him away on a wild goose chase to serve two purposes: a. track down Cindi at a Playboy shindig; and b. allow for Tucker to meet his long-standing hero, Hugh Hefner
Pitifully sophomoric, the script, written by directors and leads Cregger and Moore, is under the ill-conceived notion that if you attach a sappy coda to 80 minutes of the basest of scatological humour that you can turn on a dime and be redeeming, somehow. Its skewed message also involves Playboy's (seemingly mummified) Hugh Hefner in a cameo, as he offers a hideous "bunny in every girl" speech before feebly acknowledging that despite their inner beauty, they won't be in the pages of his magazine.
Showing up for sketch-like bits of business are The Office's Craig Robinson as Horsedick.MPEG - a foul-mouthed gangster rapper who hits it big during Eugene's four- year coma, and relative newcomer Molly Stanton as Candace - Tucker's epileptic, sometime sex buddy who chases him down after a fellatio incident.
Despite road trips being an ideal framework for a film comedy (allowing for a cast of many to make brief idiosyncratic appearances without the chances of stagnation), Miss March naively believes in the humour inherent in a pile-up of chances for nubile lovelies to potentially remove their tops; the result is a cavalcade of bodily fluid gross-out gags that fail to register even a chuckle.
While the picture doesn't fare as bad as some of the recent direct-to-video American Pie sequels (or worse, rip-offs of that series), Miss March still didn't deserve a theatrical opening: there's absolutely nothing for the studio to get behind, with a lame-brain script and two lead actors who are about as charismatic as a pair of heaving weasels.
— Aaron Graham |
Uptown
Magazine - Winnipeg's Online Source for Arts, Entertainment & News
